If Your Network Is Your Net Worth, This Book Is Compound Interest
The Book I Read Every Year: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi (Essential Reads 15)
I’ve read Never Eat Alone every single year since I first discovered it—and each time, it teaches me something new. It’s one of those rare books that evolves with you; the more you grow, the more it gives. Over the years, I’ve highlighted, revisited, and reflected on its lessons, applying them in different stages of my life and work. What follows is a curated compilation of the key takeaways that have stuck with me—ideas I return to, rely on, and continue to learn from.
Relationships are everything. Everything in the universe exists only in relation to everything else.
Make the Pie Bigger
The rule in life that holds unprecedented power is this: the individual who knows the right people, for the right reasons, and leverages the power of those relationships becomes a member of the “club”—the one where things happen.
Something profound about generosity: when you help others, they often help you in return. “Reciprocity” is the grown-up word for this timeless principle. I knew it simply as “care.” We cared for one another, and so we went out of our way to do nice things.
Success in any field—especially in business—is about working with people, not against them. Ask any accomplished CEO, entrepreneur, or professional how they achieved success. You’ll rarely hear business jargon. What you’ll hear are stories about the people who helped pave their way and how they invited those people’s help in accomplishing their goals.
Real networking is about finding ways to make other people more successful. It's about working hard to give more than you get. Connecting is a constant process of giving and receiving, of offering help and asking for it. By giving your time, expertise, and connections freely, you make the pie bigger for everyone.
Exercising equity builds equity. It’s not about hoarding connections—it’s about using them generously. You must stop keeping score. If you want to build a strong network, help others with equal fervor. The more people you help, the more help you'll receive in return—and the more help you'll have to offer others when they need it most.
Trust is the foundation of relationships. You earn trust not by asking what others can do for you, but what you can do for them. Give before you receive. Never keep score. If your interactions are governed by generosity, the rewards will follow.
Have a Clear Goal and ASK, ASK, ASK
Successful people are relentless about goal-setting—but their goals are specific, believable, and bold. As Keith Ferrazzi learned from President Clinton, clear ambitions make networking purposeful. When you know what you want, you know who to ask—and sincerity makes you memorable.
For any GOAL: If you want to build the career and community you imagine, start now. Lead a project, join an alumni group, take a course. You don’t need a massive network—start with who you already know.
Keith also recalls an incident when his father once told him, “The worst anyone can say is no.” That mindset changed everything. Ask often. Ask humbly. Every connection begins with a question.
Don’t fear failure. Risk it. Rejection teaches. Playing it safe doesn’t.
Above all, make friends—not contacts. Influence is a byproduct of real relationships.
PUTTING Yourself at the Right Place at the Right Time
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SECTIONS OF THE BOOK. (I advise taking your time to reflect on this one.)
1. No Vacation in VISIBILITY
(This is how you’re going to get a foot in…)
Be visible. Go to events. Host dinners. Join causes. Bring people together. Treat assistants and gatekeepers with utmost respect—they’re often powerful allies.
Visibility matters. Offer to help organize events—or better, be the organizer. It builds access, trust, and credibility. Approach speakers before they go on stage, when they’re most approachable. Be useful, not just present.
Speaking at events is even more powerful. It boosts your credibility, gives you exposure, and invites people to approach you.
If you're not speaking, be seen. Ask insightful questions during Q&As. Introduce yourself when you speak. Connect your question to your area of expertise. That way, people will recognize your name and feel a reason to talk to you afterward.
Stay visible. Stay present. Don’t disappear. Keep your calendar full. Be around. Consistency matters.
2. Preparation, Not Chance
(…This is how you actually meet and make a lasting impression on someone.)
Preparation sets you apart. Before any meeting, learn about the person—hobbies, goals, values. Treat them as a human, not a transaction. Ask good questions. Listen deeply. Find real common ground.
Don’t rely on chance. Do your homework. Before any event, review the materials, study the attendee list, and note who you want to meet. Know their interests and how you might help them.
Use LinkedIn, social media, and mutual connections to find common ground. Shared interests like hobbies, schools, or causes help create genuine connections.
Use warm introductions, LinkedIn, and sharp subject lines. Be brief, clear, and persistent. Know what you're asking—and why.
3. Quality over Quantity
(..This is really how you begin laying the foundations of a relationship…)
Friendship is about quality time, not quantity. Do things you both care about—work out, cook, go to a show, volunteer. Passion is contagious. Let others feel it.
Create value in every interaction—share helpful info, solve a problem, or just make someone feel heard. Be mindful of time. A short, focused coffee meeting can be more valuable than a long one.
Use opportunities wisely:
Invite someone to a relevant event, talk, or show.
Offer to host or co-host small gatherings with purpose.
Join people in their interests—tennis, chess, art, fitness.
Be a connector—introduce like-minded people to one another.
Volunteer for community events with people you admire.
Ultimately, success in life and business is about connecting deeply and frequently in a way that creates mutual benefit. Generosity, authenticity, and consistency are the foundation.
Follow-up
(…And this, is where you keep at it again, and again and again.)
This is where most people fail. A short, sincere note after a meeting puts you ahead of 95% of others. Reaffirm your commitment. Make it a habit, not a chore.
The Real Work Begins After the Handshake
Once you’ve met someone, the real work begins: staying connected. After a meeting, log their contact information and set a calendar reminder to follow up—maybe in a month—with a thoughtful message or article. Mention a shared moment or topic to keep it personal and relevant.
Most people don’t follow up. If you do, you’re already ahead. And don’t just follow up with the person you met—also reach out to the person who introduced you. Let them know how it went and express appreciation.
Be generous in your follow-ups: express gratitude, reference something personal, reaffirm commitments. Be concise. Use both email and physical mail where appropriate. Send social media connections. Don’t wait for holidays—stay in touch regularly.
If someone made an introduction for you, always circle back. Keep them in the loop and thank them again. These gestures strengthen relationships. Everyone you meet is a potential ally, mentor, partner, or friend—if you approach them with the right attitude.
Establishing Credibility in Follow Ups
Meeting new people should excite you. It’s an opportunity, not an obstacle. Silence the voice of self-doubt. Reaching out is a muscle, and it gets stronger with use.
When someone doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. Don’t guilt them or complain. Greet them warmly when they do get back to you, and move forward.
When making a “warm call,” follow these four rules:
Convey credibility: Reference a mutual connection or shared interest.
State your value: Be clear on how the conversation benefits them.
Impart urgency: Be flexible, but give a reason to act now.
Secure the next step: Always lock in a follow-up or meeting.
Start with something attention-catching—like a mutual friend or relevant idea. Do your homework before any meeting. Know their business, their passions, and their pain points.
Maintaining Your Relationship Reservoir
Take names—literally.
Start by creating a master list of everyone you know and everyone you’d like to know.
Think broadly: relatives, friends of relatives, your spouse’s contacts, coworkers (past and present), classmates, neighbors, fellow members of clubs or faith communities, customers, service providers, and even acquaintances from social media.
This becomes your relationship master database.
Use a contact management tool or platform like LinkedIn to organize it. Track communication and engagement. Ferrazzi even creates call sheets by region so if he’s visiting a city, he can easily connect with people he knows—or wants to know—there.
Build a Generous, Valuable Network
Metcalfe’s Law says the value of a network increases with the square of its users. The same holds for your personal network. Every new connection opens doors—not just for you, but for everyone around you.
Bring people together across industries, interests, and backgrounds. When you follow your instincts in assembling groups, surprising and meaningful things happen.
Start your own gatherings. Host dinners, roundtables, discussion groups—anything that gives people a reason to come together and gives you a reason to stay connected.
When you help others connect, you become a hub. Your network strengthens, your influence grows, and people begin to rely on you to bring others together.
And throughout all of it: be bold, present, thoughtful, and generous.
Success doesn’t come just from what you know—or even who you know. It comes from how you share what you know with who you know.
Lead with value. Live with generosity. Keep reaching out.